Dads on Television

Have you ever paid attention to how television portrays fatherhood? I have; it's fascinating. Perceptions of the family and the role of father have changed much over the years -- from the fathering of Andy Griffith on The Andy Griffith Show to that of Peter Griffin on Family Guy.

Check out this article that goes through some of the greatest dads on television, coming from various types of lifestyles -- Greatest Television Dads. There were a few dads on there that I grew up admiring - Cliff Huxtable and Danny Tanner, to name a few.

Last fall, a new show hit network television that has been helping Americans take a second look at what it means to be a father in a traditional nuclear family. I present to you...Guys With Kids.




This show talks about three men living in today's societies in three different fathering situations.

We follow Chris, a single father trying to balance work, dating, and raising a son with his ex-wife nearby.

We follow Nick, a father of two who works outside of the home.

We follow Gary, a father of four who is a stay-at-home dad while his wife works outside of the home.

This comedy exposes the highs and lows of fatherhood inside of the family unit and how it works from various angles structurally, culturally, and socially. It has become one of my favorite shows to watch this school year. If you need a laugh or just some reassurance that you're not alone on your parenting journey, I totally recommend this show. because it delivers.

Resources

Want to know more about the dialogue on Fatherhood? Want to get involved and bring resources to help the fathers that live near you? Check out a these national sites and find a way take action! 

Take Time to be a Dad

National Fatherhood Initiative

Fatherhood and Feminism

Can those two words exist without contradicting the purpose of the other? One man (and probably many others) seems to think so. As I was perusing Google today to see what would be interesting in the world of fatherhood, I happened upon a website called Fathers For Life. The title promoted a good message, I thought: encouraging that fatherhood is a calling one has for a lifetime. Once you become a father, that never ends, so you have the wonderful opportunity of developing and honing the skills you have to become a great dad.

I clicked around the website to see what kind of information was available. The organization talks about activism, children, divorce, civil rights, social policy, public policy and policy reform, domestic violence, gay issues, health, support groups, and the destruction of families, among other things. It looks like a lot of good information, though, I admit, I didn't read all of the sections very thoroughly.

I did read one section very thoroughly, however, and this was the section about feminism. Specifically, the section I read was called The Fifth Commandment. In this opinion piece, one man talks about how feminism is destroying our ability to properly abide by the fifth of the ten commandments -- honor thy father and thy mother. The argument is essentially that because society is pushing for more genderless phrases and words in order to sounds more politically correct, we are depreciating the contributions that men make to the world in order to help women feel more valued. The author also uses statistics (mostly from Canada) and analogies in order to show how feminism does not actually promote fairness and understanding, but a demoralization of society in order to appear more fair and just.

Once again, this is an opinion piece, but I found it a very interesting and intellectually stimulating read. I think it is worth your time to read and think about, too. Let us know what you conclude!

Fathers and Adoption Rights

Have you ever wondered what adoption codes say about fathers? Bee and I did at the beginning of the semester, so we did some research. There are stories out there about men whose wives or significant others gave up children for adoption without informing them of the birth or, sometimes, without even mentioning that they were pregnant.

Here are some examples:
Terry Achane Reunited with Daughter
William Jardina to Receive Adopted Daughter Back

In the state of Utah, the adoption codes for fathers say the following:

78-30-4.12. Rights and responsibilities of parties in adoption proceedings.
(1) The Legislature finds that the rights and interests of all parties affected by an adoption proceeding must be considered and balanced in determining what constitutional protections and processes are necessary and appropriate.
(2) The Legislature finds that:
(a) the state has a compelling interest in providing stable and permanent homes for adoptive children in a prompt manner, in preventing the disruption of adoptive placements, and in holding parents accountable for meeting the needs of children;
(b) an unmarried mother, faced with the responsibility of making crucial decisions about the future of a newborn child, is entitled to privacy, and has the right to make timely and appropriate decisions regarding her future and the future of the child, and is entitled to assurance regarding the permanence of an adoptive placement;
(c) adoptive children have a right to permanence and stability in adoptive placements;
(d) adoptive parents have a constitutionally protected liberty and privacy interest in retaining custody of an adopted child; and
(e) an unmarried biological father has an inchoate interest that acquires constitutional protection only when he demonstrates a timely and full commitment to the responsibilities of parenthood, both during pregnancy and upon the child's birth. The state has a compelling interest in requiring unmarried biological fathers to demonstrate that commitment by providing appropriate medical care and financial support and by establishing legal paternity, in accordance with the requirements of this chapter.
(3) (a) In enacting Subsection 78-30-1.1(5) and Sections 78-30-4.12 through 78-30-4.21, the Legislature prescribes the conditions for determining whether an unmarried biological father's action is sufficiently prompt and substantial to require constitutional protection.
(b) If an unmarried biological father fails to grasp the opportunities to establish a relationship with his child that are available to him, his biological parental interest may be lost entirely, or greatly diminished in constitutional significance by his failure to timely exercise it, or by his failure to strictly comply with the available legal steps to substantiate it.
(c) A certain degree of finality is necessary in order to facilitate the state's compelling interest. The Legislature finds that the interests of the state, the mother, the child, and the adoptive parents described in this section outweigh the interest of an unmarried biological father who does not timely grasp the opportunity to establish and demonstrate a relationship with his child in accordance with the requirements of this chapter.
(d) An unmarried biological father has the primary responsibility to protect his rights.
(e) An unmarried biological father is presumed to know that the child may be adopted without his consent unless he strictly complies with the provisions of this chapter, manifests a prompt and full commitment to his parental responsibilities, and establishes paternity.
(4) The Legislature finds that an unmarried mother has a right of privacy with regard to her pregnancy and adoption plan, and therefore has no legal obligation to disclose the identity of an unmarried biological father prior to or during an adoption proceeding, and has no obligation to volunteer information to the court with respect to the father.

So, essentially, every party involved in the adoption gets taken into consideration before the father. We wonder if that is fair or if it is an obvious bias. We understand that there is good reason to have women be very involved in deciding what's best for the child. However, the aforementioned examples show that not all women have the best intentions.

What should be done in order to prevent tragic stories like these from occurring? Some propose making it mandatory to identify the biological father, but others claim this would only encroach on privacy rights. Most states have a registry for fathers to use if they think they fathered a child. They have a certain amount of time to register before they can no longer do anything to claim that they sired a child.

We've talked enough. What do you think?

Step-Fathers

After a divorce, many men and women decide to remarry and this often means bringing two families together or bringing the children of one family into the home of someone who is a stranger. In this case, we are referring to mothers with children who remarry another man. The Step-Father.

I don't know from personal experience but everyone has heard of the evil step-parent. They step in and take over with little concern to the kids and the other parent is oblivious to what's going on. Where did this idea come from? Is it even true today? Why is this so?

It's not easy to combine two families and it's not easy to feel like you have no to little role in your own family. We're grateful for family researchers that look for solutions and ways to help families transition and become strong.

Brigham Young University recently published a short article on some of the research being done with step-fathers and children. You can go here to read more.

Fathers and Child Educational Outcomes

What sort of impact to fathers have on children? We mentioned some of the ways in our introductory post, but check out some other ways research has found that fathers matter for children (courtesy of fatherhood.gov). I'll add some of my non-expert yet research-based opinions on why these findings may be the way they were.

Preschoolers with actively involved fathers have stronger verbal skills.
Active fathers tend to focus a lot on verbal communication and helping children say what they mean. By preschool, these skills begin to manifest themselves as fathers invest in their children through communication.

Children with actively involved fathers display less behavior problems in school.
Having two parents to discipline children helps prevent problem behavior.

Girls with strong relationships with their fathers do better in mathematics.
Males generally show more of an aptitude with right brain tasks, which could help if fathers help their daughters with math homework.

Boys with actively involved fathers tend to get better grades and perform better on achievement tests.
Fathers influence sons by simply being a same-gender parent who is invested in his son, at a very basic level.

Research shows that even very young children who have experienced high father involvement show an increase in curiosity and in problem solving capacity. Fathers’ involvement seems to encourage children’s exploration of the world around them and confidence in their ability to solve problems.
I believe this one is self-explanatory.

Highly involved fathers also contribute to increased mental dexterity in children, increased empathy, less stereotyped sex role beliefs and greater self-control.
It looks like these involved fathers also have involved mothers who help each other stay balanced in their marital/familial roles (whatever they may be), and the children are able to see this as an example of how to behave.

When non-custodial fathers are highly involved with their children’s learning, the children are more likely to get A's at all grade levels.
Involvement is key more than actual marital status.

Nonresident father contact with children and involvement in their schools within the past year are associated with the same three factors: fathers paying child support; custodial mothers being more educated; and custodial homes not experiencing financial difficulties.
Nonresident fathers being involved eases the burden on mothers, which reflects in interactions with their children.

 

Single Dads

They exist, we know. There has been some media attention given to them, from songs to TV sitcoms, but do Americans really know what it's like to be a single dad? Do we know how much of an impact they have on the children they raise?

Let's check out some statistics from 2011.

• 15% of custodial single parents were men. 
• There were 1.7 million single fathers.
• Of these men, 10% were raising three or more children under the age of 18.
• Around 45% were divorced, 31% were never married, 19% were separated, and 5% were widowed.  
• 38% had an annual family income of $50,000 or more.

Single fathers are more a part of the American fabric than we think. They face unique challenges and can always use support. There is always the issue of parenting, which is difficult for any single custodial parent. Finances and dating can also be concerns. Each situation is different, and support and understanding are needed in order to ease the stress for both parents and children of single dads.

Some helpful websites include:

• Single Father -- Talks about several different issues for single dads. Also includes articles and support groups to help dads in different situations.
• Library of Congress  -- Talks about the origin of Father's Day (a woman wanted to honor her father who raised her and five other children after her mother died!)
• Fathers Raising Daughters -- Educates fathers on how to raise daughters alone.