Dads on Television

Have you ever paid attention to how television portrays fatherhood? I have; it's fascinating. Perceptions of the family and the role of father have changed much over the years -- from the fathering of Andy Griffith on The Andy Griffith Show to that of Peter Griffin on Family Guy.

Check out this article that goes through some of the greatest dads on television, coming from various types of lifestyles -- Greatest Television Dads. There were a few dads on there that I grew up admiring - Cliff Huxtable and Danny Tanner, to name a few.

Last fall, a new show hit network television that has been helping Americans take a second look at what it means to be a father in a traditional nuclear family. I present to you...Guys With Kids.




This show talks about three men living in today's societies in three different fathering situations.

We follow Chris, a single father trying to balance work, dating, and raising a son with his ex-wife nearby.

We follow Nick, a father of two who works outside of the home.

We follow Gary, a father of four who is a stay-at-home dad while his wife works outside of the home.

This comedy exposes the highs and lows of fatherhood inside of the family unit and how it works from various angles structurally, culturally, and socially. It has become one of my favorite shows to watch this school year. If you need a laugh or just some reassurance that you're not alone on your parenting journey, I totally recommend this show. because it delivers.

Resources

Want to know more about the dialogue on Fatherhood? Want to get involved and bring resources to help the fathers that live near you? Check out a these national sites and find a way take action! 

Take Time to be a Dad

National Fatherhood Initiative

Fatherhood and Feminism

Can those two words exist without contradicting the purpose of the other? One man (and probably many others) seems to think so. As I was perusing Google today to see what would be interesting in the world of fatherhood, I happened upon a website called Fathers For Life. The title promoted a good message, I thought: encouraging that fatherhood is a calling one has for a lifetime. Once you become a father, that never ends, so you have the wonderful opportunity of developing and honing the skills you have to become a great dad.

I clicked around the website to see what kind of information was available. The organization talks about activism, children, divorce, civil rights, social policy, public policy and policy reform, domestic violence, gay issues, health, support groups, and the destruction of families, among other things. It looks like a lot of good information, though, I admit, I didn't read all of the sections very thoroughly.

I did read one section very thoroughly, however, and this was the section about feminism. Specifically, the section I read was called The Fifth Commandment. In this opinion piece, one man talks about how feminism is destroying our ability to properly abide by the fifth of the ten commandments -- honor thy father and thy mother. The argument is essentially that because society is pushing for more genderless phrases and words in order to sounds more politically correct, we are depreciating the contributions that men make to the world in order to help women feel more valued. The author also uses statistics (mostly from Canada) and analogies in order to show how feminism does not actually promote fairness and understanding, but a demoralization of society in order to appear more fair and just.

Once again, this is an opinion piece, but I found it a very interesting and intellectually stimulating read. I think it is worth your time to read and think about, too. Let us know what you conclude!

Fathers and Adoption Rights

Have you ever wondered what adoption codes say about fathers? Bee and I did at the beginning of the semester, so we did some research. There are stories out there about men whose wives or significant others gave up children for adoption without informing them of the birth or, sometimes, without even mentioning that they were pregnant.

Here are some examples:
Terry Achane Reunited with Daughter
William Jardina to Receive Adopted Daughter Back

In the state of Utah, the adoption codes for fathers say the following:

78-30-4.12. Rights and responsibilities of parties in adoption proceedings.
(1) The Legislature finds that the rights and interests of all parties affected by an adoption proceeding must be considered and balanced in determining what constitutional protections and processes are necessary and appropriate.
(2) The Legislature finds that:
(a) the state has a compelling interest in providing stable and permanent homes for adoptive children in a prompt manner, in preventing the disruption of adoptive placements, and in holding parents accountable for meeting the needs of children;
(b) an unmarried mother, faced with the responsibility of making crucial decisions about the future of a newborn child, is entitled to privacy, and has the right to make timely and appropriate decisions regarding her future and the future of the child, and is entitled to assurance regarding the permanence of an adoptive placement;
(c) adoptive children have a right to permanence and stability in adoptive placements;
(d) adoptive parents have a constitutionally protected liberty and privacy interest in retaining custody of an adopted child; and
(e) an unmarried biological father has an inchoate interest that acquires constitutional protection only when he demonstrates a timely and full commitment to the responsibilities of parenthood, both during pregnancy and upon the child's birth. The state has a compelling interest in requiring unmarried biological fathers to demonstrate that commitment by providing appropriate medical care and financial support and by establishing legal paternity, in accordance with the requirements of this chapter.
(3) (a) In enacting Subsection 78-30-1.1(5) and Sections 78-30-4.12 through 78-30-4.21, the Legislature prescribes the conditions for determining whether an unmarried biological father's action is sufficiently prompt and substantial to require constitutional protection.
(b) If an unmarried biological father fails to grasp the opportunities to establish a relationship with his child that are available to him, his biological parental interest may be lost entirely, or greatly diminished in constitutional significance by his failure to timely exercise it, or by his failure to strictly comply with the available legal steps to substantiate it.
(c) A certain degree of finality is necessary in order to facilitate the state's compelling interest. The Legislature finds that the interests of the state, the mother, the child, and the adoptive parents described in this section outweigh the interest of an unmarried biological father who does not timely grasp the opportunity to establish and demonstrate a relationship with his child in accordance with the requirements of this chapter.
(d) An unmarried biological father has the primary responsibility to protect his rights.
(e) An unmarried biological father is presumed to know that the child may be adopted without his consent unless he strictly complies with the provisions of this chapter, manifests a prompt and full commitment to his parental responsibilities, and establishes paternity.
(4) The Legislature finds that an unmarried mother has a right of privacy with regard to her pregnancy and adoption plan, and therefore has no legal obligation to disclose the identity of an unmarried biological father prior to or during an adoption proceeding, and has no obligation to volunteer information to the court with respect to the father.

So, essentially, every party involved in the adoption gets taken into consideration before the father. We wonder if that is fair or if it is an obvious bias. We understand that there is good reason to have women be very involved in deciding what's best for the child. However, the aforementioned examples show that not all women have the best intentions.

What should be done in order to prevent tragic stories like these from occurring? Some propose making it mandatory to identify the biological father, but others claim this would only encroach on privacy rights. Most states have a registry for fathers to use if they think they fathered a child. They have a certain amount of time to register before they can no longer do anything to claim that they sired a child.

We've talked enough. What do you think?

Step-Fathers

After a divorce, many men and women decide to remarry and this often means bringing two families together or bringing the children of one family into the home of someone who is a stranger. In this case, we are referring to mothers with children who remarry another man. The Step-Father.

I don't know from personal experience but everyone has heard of the evil step-parent. They step in and take over with little concern to the kids and the other parent is oblivious to what's going on. Where did this idea come from? Is it even true today? Why is this so?

It's not easy to combine two families and it's not easy to feel like you have no to little role in your own family. We're grateful for family researchers that look for solutions and ways to help families transition and become strong.

Brigham Young University recently published a short article on some of the research being done with step-fathers and children. You can go here to read more.

Fathers and Child Educational Outcomes

What sort of impact to fathers have on children? We mentioned some of the ways in our introductory post, but check out some other ways research has found that fathers matter for children (courtesy of fatherhood.gov). I'll add some of my non-expert yet research-based opinions on why these findings may be the way they were.

Preschoolers with actively involved fathers have stronger verbal skills.
Active fathers tend to focus a lot on verbal communication and helping children say what they mean. By preschool, these skills begin to manifest themselves as fathers invest in their children through communication.

Children with actively involved fathers display less behavior problems in school.
Having two parents to discipline children helps prevent problem behavior.

Girls with strong relationships with their fathers do better in mathematics.
Males generally show more of an aptitude with right brain tasks, which could help if fathers help their daughters with math homework.

Boys with actively involved fathers tend to get better grades and perform better on achievement tests.
Fathers influence sons by simply being a same-gender parent who is invested in his son, at a very basic level.

Research shows that even very young children who have experienced high father involvement show an increase in curiosity and in problem solving capacity. Fathers’ involvement seems to encourage children’s exploration of the world around them and confidence in their ability to solve problems.
I believe this one is self-explanatory.

Highly involved fathers also contribute to increased mental dexterity in children, increased empathy, less stereotyped sex role beliefs and greater self-control.
It looks like these involved fathers also have involved mothers who help each other stay balanced in their marital/familial roles (whatever they may be), and the children are able to see this as an example of how to behave.

When non-custodial fathers are highly involved with their children’s learning, the children are more likely to get A's at all grade levels.
Involvement is key more than actual marital status.

Nonresident father contact with children and involvement in their schools within the past year are associated with the same three factors: fathers paying child support; custodial mothers being more educated; and custodial homes not experiencing financial difficulties.
Nonresident fathers being involved eases the burden on mothers, which reflects in interactions with their children.

 

Single Dads

They exist, we know. There has been some media attention given to them, from songs to TV sitcoms, but do Americans really know what it's like to be a single dad? Do we know how much of an impact they have on the children they raise?

Let's check out some statistics from 2011.

• 15% of custodial single parents were men. 
• There were 1.7 million single fathers.
• Of these men, 10% were raising three or more children under the age of 18.
• Around 45% were divorced, 31% were never married, 19% were separated, and 5% were widowed.  
• 38% had an annual family income of $50,000 or more.

Single fathers are more a part of the American fabric than we think. They face unique challenges and can always use support. There is always the issue of parenting, which is difficult for any single custodial parent. Finances and dating can also be concerns. Each situation is different, and support and understanding are needed in order to ease the stress for both parents and children of single dads.

Some helpful websites include:

• Single Father -- Talks about several different issues for single dads. Also includes articles and support groups to help dads in different situations.
• Library of Congress  -- Talks about the origin of Father's Day (a woman wanted to honor her father who raised her and five other children after her mother died!)
• Fathers Raising Daughters -- Educates fathers on how to raise daughters alone.

Apart but not Broken.

“Fathers and children share a special bond with one another, one that is unique from that of mothers,” says Shelly Mahon of the UW-Madison and program director of Apart, Not Broken: A Place for Learning, Connecting, and Creating. Divorced fathers wish to protect, guide and provide for their children. On the heels of a divorce or separation, they often struggle to connect with their children. Many express the need for strategies for making the most of their time together.”
Let's face it. Not every family has a Mom, a Dad, two kids, and a dog. As I've mentioned before, I grew up all of my life without a father and it wasn't easy. Now there were circumstances with my own father and there are with other Dads too. It's understandable. This post is to encourage and support Dads who may not live at home with the rest of the kids anymore to stay involved. Research shows it will benefit them and you. 

There is an online program called Apart, Not Broken: Learn, Connect, & Create, This is a resource for fathers to have a place to learn from the experiences of other dads and get current information about divorce and parenting. Using videos and a variety of multi-media tools, fathers are given creative strategies to connect with their children and manage their relationship with their ex-partner. 

Fathers who participate in the survey are asked to respond to a pre- and post-survey, and provide feedback about their experience using the program.

To register or learn more about the online program, go to http://www.divorceddadinstitute.com/ or contact Shelly D. Mahon at apartnotbroken@gmail.com.

Paternity Leave

Most people have heard of maternity leave -- the period of time during which a mother prepares for the birth of her child, delivers her child, and takes care of her child for the first weeks of its little life. Paternity leave, however, is not as commonly known. The idea is essentially the same as maternity leave, but it is for fathers in order for them to help their families and establish a connection with their new little one.

Many countries have parental leave laws. The United States allows the option, but it is not mandated by every state. The nationally-mandated leave of absence time is about 12 weeks, regardless of the reason. For example, many European and South American countries allow about 3-4 months of maternal leave, with less time (but still time) allowed for paternal leave. Some of the leave is paid; some is not.

Some Americans are advocating for more paternal leave, especially paid paternal leave. Having parental leave for both parents helps reduce training hours of new potential employees, increases productivity of current employees, and fosters happier, healthier families.

For more information about this issue, check out these resources:
Parental Leave Global Comparison
Parental Benefits and Paternity Leave

What do YOU have to say about your Dad?

We've asked around to our classmates, friends, and family what makes their Dad so great. 
Here are a few of their responses! 

Oftentimes Dad’s are portrayed as distant figures, the ‘strong, silent type’, in the background of life.  But, this was not so for my Dad.  Although he was often busy providing for our family, he was very much a part of my every day life.  My Dad is the hardest worker I know while also being one of the most positive, happy individuals I know.  He is also taught us honor, honesty, and charity by example through his actions.  When considering stories of him rushing to help someone, whether a friend or a stranger, I am at no loss – there are countless of memories that come to mind.  Although I have, in my adulthood, through study and life experience, come to understand just how important Father’s are in the home and what attributes contribute to a ‘successful’ Father, my Dad never studied those things – he just was one. He is a great example to me and I whole-heartedly attribute much of my own happy marriage to the values and life lessons he helped instill in me (and thus helped shape who I am). -JS from Tennessee


My father has always been a rock. Reliable as someone who sticks to their principles, as one who will love unconditionally, as one who will sacrifice and do all that is necessary for his family. He will listen to you and try to understand why you believe the things you do. He is so strong and so good. But, he is also so funny. We poke fun at my mother and siblings. We make fart jokes, which send my mother away shaking her head. We race to the door even though I always beat him. We watch movies together even if they are cheesy chick-flicks. He is a handyman who can build and fix things… Although most of the time we should just call a plumber. My father is a strong, loving man who I aspire to be more like. -KH from Michigan

My father has been married for over 30 years to my mother. In my eyes, he is the perfect example of a patient, loving husband to my mother, who have both endured their share of hardships and trials that could strain any relationship. He is the father of two children, and has shown both of them unrequited love over their whole lives. He is the first to sacrifice anything for his family; whether it be a career relocation that would put strain on the family, putting his children's financial needs before his own, and always serving as an objective, yet supportive, source of advice to his family. -CH from Georgia

Incarceration

The ideal place for the father to interact and bond with children is in the home. However, for many Americans, fathers are absent because they have unfortunately broken the law and are spending time locked up. In 2007, close to 95% of all inmates were male, among them many fathers. In 2009, 1.5 million kids reported having a parent in jail. Some state and federal correctional facilities allow calls, written letters, and visits to happen between inmates and children frequently, but not all facilities treat families with the same courtesy.

Think about these men and their families. Think about the issues that could come up while a father is away imprisoned. For the family, there are financial struggles. Without a second source of income, financial burden falls solely on the mother to provide for her children while trying to juggle other responsibilities. For women who are romantically involved with the father, some report having less hopes of rekindling their romance once the father's term is done. Children with absent fathers generally show more crimogenic behaviors than those with present fathers, and having a father incarcerated increases those odds. For fathers, the transition from home to correctional facilities is difficult. Not being able to see their children has psychological effects, such as feelings of inadequacy or being forgotten by their family. There is also their transition back into the home. Where do they fit in? Can they retain the relationships they once had before? It is difficult for all members of the family when a father is in jail.

The stereotype is that incarcerated fathers are unfit parents and shouldn't be raising their kids anyway. However, it is important to keep in mind that environment has a big affect on how people use their ability to choose. Most inmates are young, poor, and uneducated racial minorities. If nothing else, opportunities for learning and growth are needed to be able to help these fathers become more responsible and less likely to return to jail in the future. Some states have begun to capture this vision and are allowing fathers more opportunities to interact with their children in hopes of creating better bonds, but not all have seen the light.

What sort of policies could help serve these fathers and their families? For more information, check out "Incarceration" under the "Issues" tab in the menu.

Welcome to our Fatherhood Blog!

Hi, everyone!

Bee and I are super excited to unveil our brand new blog. We are two college-age women who love families and everything that strengthens them. After reading countless research articles and books on family scholarship, we have found one thing the two of us are passionate about -- father involvement in the family. Mothers are certainly crucial and important to happy families. Fathers make equally valuable contributions as men make the choice to rise to the occasion and fulfill their potential as dads.

To start off, how about we look at some statistics?

"According to 2011 U.S. Census Bureau data, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (64%) African American children live in father-absent homes. One in three (34%) Hispanic children, and 1 in 4 (25%) white children live in father-absent homes. In 1960, only 11% of children lived in father-absent homes.

Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents." (Source: The Fatherhood Initiative)

And now...some research about the positive effects of father involvement!

"In general, kids who have dads that actively participate in their care and that interact with them a lot are more likely to:
1. Be smarter and more successful in school and work.
2. Be happier. 
3. Have more friends and better relationships.
4. Have happier, healthier mothers. 
5. Be less likely to get into trouble, or otherwise engage in risky behavior." (Source: Greater Good)

(Source: Laurel Furbish Photography)

It's clear that dads matter to children. This blog is aimed to inform the public about current fatherhood policies, issues, tips, opinions, and anything else deemed important and relating to promoting proud fatherhood. We invite you to click around and see what you find. Over the next month or so, we'll be adding more posts and resources to increase awareness about fathers in the blogosphere.

What we'd love to know is what you want to read about. What interests you? What doesn't interest you? What do you want to understand better? Do you have an idea that you wish lawmakers would give attention to? Let us know! Leave a comment or contact us so that your voice may be represented here. We're so excited and honored that you've stopped by to support our little project. May your heart desire to return and frequently!