Apart but not Broken.

“Fathers and children share a special bond with one another, one that is unique from that of mothers,” says Shelly Mahon of the UW-Madison and program director of Apart, Not Broken: A Place for Learning, Connecting, and Creating. Divorced fathers wish to protect, guide and provide for their children. On the heels of a divorce or separation, they often struggle to connect with their children. Many express the need for strategies for making the most of their time together.”
Let's face it. Not every family has a Mom, a Dad, two kids, and a dog. As I've mentioned before, I grew up all of my life without a father and it wasn't easy. Now there were circumstances with my own father and there are with other Dads too. It's understandable. This post is to encourage and support Dads who may not live at home with the rest of the kids anymore to stay involved. Research shows it will benefit them and you. 

There is an online program called Apart, Not Broken: Learn, Connect, & Create, This is a resource for fathers to have a place to learn from the experiences of other dads and get current information about divorce and parenting. Using videos and a variety of multi-media tools, fathers are given creative strategies to connect with their children and manage their relationship with their ex-partner. 

Fathers who participate in the survey are asked to respond to a pre- and post-survey, and provide feedback about their experience using the program.

To register or learn more about the online program, go to http://www.divorceddadinstitute.com/ or contact Shelly D. Mahon at apartnotbroken@gmail.com.

Paternity Leave

Most people have heard of maternity leave -- the period of time during which a mother prepares for the birth of her child, delivers her child, and takes care of her child for the first weeks of its little life. Paternity leave, however, is not as commonly known. The idea is essentially the same as maternity leave, but it is for fathers in order for them to help their families and establish a connection with their new little one.

Many countries have parental leave laws. The United States allows the option, but it is not mandated by every state. The nationally-mandated leave of absence time is about 12 weeks, regardless of the reason. For example, many European and South American countries allow about 3-4 months of maternal leave, with less time (but still time) allowed for paternal leave. Some of the leave is paid; some is not.

Some Americans are advocating for more paternal leave, especially paid paternal leave. Having parental leave for both parents helps reduce training hours of new potential employees, increases productivity of current employees, and fosters happier, healthier families.

For more information about this issue, check out these resources:
Parental Leave Global Comparison
Parental Benefits and Paternity Leave

What do YOU have to say about your Dad?

We've asked around to our classmates, friends, and family what makes their Dad so great. 
Here are a few of their responses! 

Oftentimes Dad’s are portrayed as distant figures, the ‘strong, silent type’, in the background of life.  But, this was not so for my Dad.  Although he was often busy providing for our family, he was very much a part of my every day life.  My Dad is the hardest worker I know while also being one of the most positive, happy individuals I know.  He is also taught us honor, honesty, and charity by example through his actions.  When considering stories of him rushing to help someone, whether a friend or a stranger, I am at no loss – there are countless of memories that come to mind.  Although I have, in my adulthood, through study and life experience, come to understand just how important Father’s are in the home and what attributes contribute to a ‘successful’ Father, my Dad never studied those things – he just was one. He is a great example to me and I whole-heartedly attribute much of my own happy marriage to the values and life lessons he helped instill in me (and thus helped shape who I am). -JS from Tennessee


My father has always been a rock. Reliable as someone who sticks to their principles, as one who will love unconditionally, as one who will sacrifice and do all that is necessary for his family. He will listen to you and try to understand why you believe the things you do. He is so strong and so good. But, he is also so funny. We poke fun at my mother and siblings. We make fart jokes, which send my mother away shaking her head. We race to the door even though I always beat him. We watch movies together even if they are cheesy chick-flicks. He is a handyman who can build and fix things… Although most of the time we should just call a plumber. My father is a strong, loving man who I aspire to be more like. -KH from Michigan

My father has been married for over 30 years to my mother. In my eyes, he is the perfect example of a patient, loving husband to my mother, who have both endured their share of hardships and trials that could strain any relationship. He is the father of two children, and has shown both of them unrequited love over their whole lives. He is the first to sacrifice anything for his family; whether it be a career relocation that would put strain on the family, putting his children's financial needs before his own, and always serving as an objective, yet supportive, source of advice to his family. -CH from Georgia

Incarceration

The ideal place for the father to interact and bond with children is in the home. However, for many Americans, fathers are absent because they have unfortunately broken the law and are spending time locked up. In 2007, close to 95% of all inmates were male, among them many fathers. In 2009, 1.5 million kids reported having a parent in jail. Some state and federal correctional facilities allow calls, written letters, and visits to happen between inmates and children frequently, but not all facilities treat families with the same courtesy.

Think about these men and their families. Think about the issues that could come up while a father is away imprisoned. For the family, there are financial struggles. Without a second source of income, financial burden falls solely on the mother to provide for her children while trying to juggle other responsibilities. For women who are romantically involved with the father, some report having less hopes of rekindling their romance once the father's term is done. Children with absent fathers generally show more crimogenic behaviors than those with present fathers, and having a father incarcerated increases those odds. For fathers, the transition from home to correctional facilities is difficult. Not being able to see their children has psychological effects, such as feelings of inadequacy or being forgotten by their family. There is also their transition back into the home. Where do they fit in? Can they retain the relationships they once had before? It is difficult for all members of the family when a father is in jail.

The stereotype is that incarcerated fathers are unfit parents and shouldn't be raising their kids anyway. However, it is important to keep in mind that environment has a big affect on how people use their ability to choose. Most inmates are young, poor, and uneducated racial minorities. If nothing else, opportunities for learning and growth are needed to be able to help these fathers become more responsible and less likely to return to jail in the future. Some states have begun to capture this vision and are allowing fathers more opportunities to interact with their children in hopes of creating better bonds, but not all have seen the light.

What sort of policies could help serve these fathers and their families? For more information, check out "Incarceration" under the "Issues" tab in the menu.

Welcome to our Fatherhood Blog!

Hi, everyone!

Bee and I are super excited to unveil our brand new blog. We are two college-age women who love families and everything that strengthens them. After reading countless research articles and books on family scholarship, we have found one thing the two of us are passionate about -- father involvement in the family. Mothers are certainly crucial and important to happy families. Fathers make equally valuable contributions as men make the choice to rise to the occasion and fulfill their potential as dads.

To start off, how about we look at some statistics?

"According to 2011 U.S. Census Bureau data, over 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of every 3 (33%) children in America. Nearly 2 in 3 (64%) African American children live in father-absent homes. One in three (34%) Hispanic children, and 1 in 4 (25%) white children live in father-absent homes. In 1960, only 11% of children lived in father-absent homes.

Children who live absent their biological fathers are, on average, at least two to three times more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological (or adoptive) parents." (Source: The Fatherhood Initiative)

And now...some research about the positive effects of father involvement!

"In general, kids who have dads that actively participate in their care and that interact with them a lot are more likely to:
1. Be smarter and more successful in school and work.
2. Be happier. 
3. Have more friends and better relationships.
4. Have happier, healthier mothers. 
5. Be less likely to get into trouble, or otherwise engage in risky behavior." (Source: Greater Good)

(Source: Laurel Furbish Photography)

It's clear that dads matter to children. This blog is aimed to inform the public about current fatherhood policies, issues, tips, opinions, and anything else deemed important and relating to promoting proud fatherhood. We invite you to click around and see what you find. Over the next month or so, we'll be adding more posts and resources to increase awareness about fathers in the blogosphere.

What we'd love to know is what you want to read about. What interests you? What doesn't interest you? What do you want to understand better? Do you have an idea that you wish lawmakers would give attention to? Let us know! Leave a comment or contact us so that your voice may be represented here. We're so excited and honored that you've stopped by to support our little project. May your heart desire to return and frequently!